Funny Jokes About School, Animals and Everyday Life

School, Doctor, Animal and Snake Jokes

An eight year girl gave her friend a birthday invitation card. On it she scribbled a note "Please don't give me a pencil box!".

A little boy said to his mother: "I feel unemployed. Do you have a job for me?"

A little boy said angrily:" I lost my gloves at school and couldn't find them anywhere." His teenager brother said:" Ok! Loser!"

After an 11 grade math exam, a boy said: "I shouldn't have played soccer yesterday!"

"Do you turn on your computer with your left hand or your right hand?"
" My right hand."
" Amazing! Most people have to use the on/off switch."

A mother warned her children not to mistake her hair removing cream for a tooth paste. She further said:" I kept it way up in the bathroom cupboard because it's poisonous!" Her 11 year old daughter commented:" Yes! We shouldn't use it otherwise we'll have hairy teeth!"

Q: Doctor Doctor I'm so ugly what can I do about it ?
A: Hire yourself out for Halloween parties!

Q: Doctor, doctor, I'm just not myself.
A: Yes -I noticed the improvement.

Q: Doctor, doctor, I'm worried about my insomnia. 
A: Don't lose any sleep over it. 

Q: Why did Rapunzel live at the top of the tower? 
A: Because she was afraid of depths!

Q: Why don't skeletons exchange e-mails?
A: Because we have no body to do it with!

Q: Why do church bells never send e-mails?
A: They'd rather give each other a ring.

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot ?
A: A carrot!

Q: What's black and white all over and difficult ?
A: An exam paper !

Q: What do demons have for breakfast ?
A: Devilled eggs !

Q: Why don't sharks eat clowns?
A: They taste funny.

Q: Why did mickey go to outer space? 
A: To see pluto!

Q: What do Snakes study in school? 
A:...HISS......tory .... !

Q: What did the snake say to his ex-girlfriend?
A: "Let's hiss and make up."